Just an utterly random post when I should be working to generate new creative material, but alas, my stomach is flipping and expanding and contracting right now with a frantic brawl going on in there. No, I didn’t eat too many beans. As my title says, the contenders in this ultimate cage match are:
Worry VS. Warm Fuzzy
I’ve always known myself to be riddled in dichotomy, and at this moment in time, the conflict has entered my emotional realm. I’ve tried to shake some of it out of my brain, which then trickled to my heart, which doesn’t want to deal with it either, so it’s all been kicked to the curb and plummeted into my belly. It’s nauseating. But let’s get on with it.
“In this corner, we have Worry! Brought to this ring thanks to unsuccessful queries and the usual insecurities that plague a first-time writer!”
Worry clasps its hands and shakes them above its head as though already victorious. The crowd boos and hisses. Empty and crushed cans of Schlitz fling into the center of the ring along with the errant tomato that accidentally takes out the bikini-clad model who was about to hold up the “Round 1” sign.
“And in this corner, coming all the way from the empathic people whose opinions matter an endearing amount, ladies and gentlemen, we give you—Warm Fuzzy!”
Whistles and cheers and feet drumming on the floor fill the arena as Warm Fuzzy bashfully hides its face behind boxing gloves. Chocolates and flowers sprinkle the ring.
With my unfortunate front-row seat, I sit here in as much anticipation as the crowd as to the outcome of this match. For you see, my morale is a little depressed as a result of this submission process. I know it’ll pass, that regardless of the rejection that comes, I’ll stand straight, relax my shoulders, stretch my fingers and get them typing about alternate realities once again for the sheer fun and love of it. But not yet, I guess. What’s enveloping me in comfort and giddy flattery in the meantime, however, are the thoughtful, encouraging words of those who know me personally or perhaps just as the Monkey…including two that have recently bestowed sweet recognition, so I thank you, Nicki Elson (Not-So-Deep Thoughts blog) and Milo James Fowler (In Media Res blog) for the Stylish Blogger and Write Hard nods, respectively. Any positive words are for certain taken to heart at this time :).
And so, in return for both of the above (which have been added to my blog award trophy case), I share my 7 random things here and pass the Write Hard torch (see rules here) to other writers who should receive it if they haven’t already:
1. Nicki Elson at Nicki Elson’s Not-So-Deep Thoughts
2. Eva at Write in Berlin
3. Tahlia at Lethal Inheritance
5. Ollin at Courage 2 Create
6. Glen at Glen’s Life
7. Melissa at Blame it on the Weatherman
Each of the above (and Milo, I hope you realize you’re likewise included in these sentiments—you, too, Alannah, when you’re back to blogging again) continue to be so honest about their writing processes, sharing the ups and the downs as well as take-away advice for how to stay on the up with one’s writing. They’re perseverant, prolific, and have provided me with thoughtful feedback. I appreciate the time they take for—and the interest they take in—me and reckon with this backing, no matter how much of a deflated nerd I may feel at times, I won’t go down without a fight.
DING!
The Fallen Monkey 
January 24th, 2011 at 20:49
hey well done you – well deserved…
~Oh, and well done me — thank you
January 26th, 2011 at 13:00
The honor is mine, sir. Well deserved props, as I know you work hard at your craft.
January 24th, 2011 at 21:50
I am supremely honored 🙂 O Monkey, you rock!
January 26th, 2011 at 13:01
Rock on, indeed, girl! I had to give a shout-out to a kindred spirit :).
January 25th, 2011 at 00:11
Aw, thanks! I’m honored. 🙂
January 26th, 2011 at 13:04
You must be plenty used to awards by now :). I couldn’t help but send another your way, though, given the effort you consistently put into your writing and being a first-rate person.
January 25th, 2011 at 01:19
Thanks for the award, and congrats on receiving it! I hope the warm fuzzies eventually conquer the doubts and display their remains prominently as a warning to all future insecurities to just keep right on moving.
January 26th, 2011 at 13:06
I like how you think, CotM. I see Worry and Doubt heads on pikes, arranged strategically outside my door.
January 25th, 2011 at 13:14
i always loved that movie
January 26th, 2011 at 13:06
Absolute classic :).
January 25th, 2011 at 22:10
Why thank you for the award! I am touched an honored.
I wish I could tell you some wise words regarding the whole querying thing, but all I’ve got pretty much is misery loves company. Querying blows and every rejection letter, no matter how nicely worded, should simply say “You Suck” cuz that’s how it feels even though it’s FAR from true…at least in your case. But everything that is meant to be will be, so do what you’ve got to do, trust, and pray…and drink lots and lots of pints w/ your sister next week!!! NEXT week!
January 26th, 2011 at 13:08
Next week…NEXT WEEK…1 WEEK FROM TODAY!!! Hurrah, sistah, I will raiseth my goblet and proudly toast a pint (or two, or three, or…) to ye on your safe arrival. Publishing world be damned! It’s going to be our second time taking this city by storm together!
January 25th, 2011 at 23:37
Thanks. I’m honoured and pleased that I’ve been of some support to you.
As for worry. There’s an old buddhist saying – if you can do something about it, there’s no need to worry. If you can’t do anything about it, there’s no point worrying.
January 26th, 2011 at 13:09
A win-win situation, really :). Thanks, Tahlia.
January 26th, 2011 at 08:59
Aw, thanks so much for this!!
If it was of any help for you, that is brilliant. And I SO know this fight. I think you should really take Nicki’s advice to heart and enjoy some drinks. They’re so relaxing, and with your talent for words, the question of you getting somewhere is only a matter of time … and persistence, unfortunately. Love Betsy Lerner’s “Forest for the Trees” for that. So recommend that read when taking a break from writing.
All the best and virtual hugs!
January 26th, 2011 at 13:11
Thanks for hugs! Write hard, girl! Your perseverance has been an inspiration to me, so I value your advice and resolve to hang in there. Your kind words are most appreciated, as always…Ah, and I had tea with an American friend yesterday who lived in Munich before moving to London. I told her about your impending move, so she’s excited to discover your blog and perhaps practice some German with you (she continues to take classes in case they move back) :).
January 27th, 2011 at 15:19
Aw – that’s lovely – thanks for recommending! New readers are nice – please bring her my way, am happy to practice :)! Change in my domain is impending, so watch this space … 🙂
January 26th, 2011 at 23:29
fyi – I have responded to this on tonight’s post
January 29th, 2011 at 00:51
Way to share the love, Monkey! =]